How do you say “I love you” in Italian

And how not to say it!

Italy is the land of love and lovers, yet the language of love can be a bit tricky. For years I have studied the Italian language as a hobby, yet I still make some fundamental mistakes in word usage. We all use the familiar and friendly terms “ciao” and “amico/amica” with fluidity, but saying “I love you” can be more of a challenge.

Back home in America, we profess our love to everyone frequently and openly. Who can forget Bud Light’s “I love you, man” campaign?

Casual acquaintances here are to quick talk about their love. My favorite crew at Dunkin’ regularly reminds me that they love me as I grab my morning coffee, and I love them. Speaking this way in Italian is a bit more complicated.

Before we talk more about love, let’s ensure our enthusiasm doesn’t get the best of us. I try to be optimistic, energetic, and generally excited about life. But to say that I am “excited” to, say get a cup of coffee, or worse yet to see someone means something very different in Italian. The Italian word for excited, eccitato, takes carries a primary meaning of being aroused… yes, in that sexual kind of way. Mind your words!

Back to love. In Italian, we say “Ti amo” to say I love you to a lover. This is not how to say I love you to your mother. Family and friends are another matter, so do not say “ti amo”  to one of them. Instead say, “ti voglio bene.”  Literally, it means I want the best for you. Practically it means “I love you,” in a non-let’s-jump-in-the-sack kind of way. 

My son, Alex, has an Italian tile on his wall with the quote: La gioia più grande per I figli è vedere che papa vuole bene la mamma.  Roughly translated, this means, “The greatest joy for children is to see that their dad wants the best (loves) their mom.”  I think that shows the difference in wording.

Perhaps the best way to say it is without words, maybe a glass of Prosecco on a quiet night in front of a fire. Another way to say it might be walking a trail through the hills of Tuscany at sunrise. It could be overlooking the morning fog in the valley over a silent cup of coffee. Maybe the words don’t matter at all…

While I am an amateur when it comes to the Italian language, you should turn to a pro if you are thinking about learning Italian, la bella lingua, for your next travel adventure.  While apps like DuoLingo and Rosetta Stone are a fun supplement to earnest study, I suggest putting the bulk of you time and energy into study time directed by a tutor.  Here are a few resources:

Check out polyglot (and friend) Luca Lampariello on YouTube.  Here is his video about how to learn any language SUPER FAST (90 days).

For affordable 1-on-1 private tutoring that will fit your schedule, go to Italki.  One of my favorite tutors is Valentina Gambarini from San Remo Italy. 

Outside of Italki, I suggest two other teachers, Diana, Isabella and Federico.  Here are their email addresses:  didilardieri81@gmail.com   isabellaorfano@libero.it  and federico79jp@gmail.com